I got a call from an old friend recently. It was my best friend from high school. Someone I hadn’t really connected with in about 10 years due to a falling out of our relationship as a result of a man I was dating at the time. (Yes, it’s unfortunate the things we let get in the way of some of the most important treasures of our lives.)
As I write this, it occurs to me that this was a pattern in my life. Most of the heartbreaks in my life hadn’t been as much from my intimate relationships themselves, but more from the friendships that surrounded those relationships.
Coming back to my high school girlfriend, there was a time I thought I would never be able to trust her again as I felt so hurt and betrayed by her judgment and criticism of my choices in life at the time. I thought it was a closed door forever and another heavy cement block added to the parameter of my heart. She had reached out once before a couple years ago to get together for a coffee and clean things up between us. I tried to remain open and curious to the effort, but for whatever reason, I still felt the edges of my hardened heart from life’s own journey keeping my ability to trust again at bay.
A gentle reminder that was further work to be done.
Then recently, she heard I was dealing with some difficult health issues and reached out to me once more. This time… something was different. This time…I felt something between us shift, penetrate my heart, and awaken something long forgotten.
What was different?
I can’t explain it really, but I got off that phone call and felt so full. I shared, conversed and let myself be exposed in ways that just whispered to her soul “Here I am”. And I could feel her soul whisper back to me “Here I am too”. We were both just showing up. I felt the deep love and sincerity, which bounded our spirits once before, re-ignite from an authentic and rooted presence that held the space we were in now together. There was no awkwardness. Our exchanged time on the phone somehow just fell into a natural rhythm that time, distance, and travelling through our own paths somehow were required experiences for creating the symphony that now played between us…and this time it was beautiful, harmonious, and most of all…resonant.
I got off that phone call feeling so grateful and blessed to briefly bathe in that sweet and special friendship that once was, as I felt it come full circle in such a magical way. If even just for that very moment, my soul knocked on my hearts door and compassionately stated “I remember her!! Don’t be afraid, you can let her in. It is safe” For a moment, I had to wonder if the reference was to my friend, or to my Self. Who was I really letting in? It was then, my soul knocked again. I softly felt my hearts wall crack open and embrace the presence of that sister soul love. And as I did, a tear rolled down my cheek and my whole body tingled with a warm familiar vibration while my heart smiled, graciously accepting the invitation to widening open her door.
I don’t know what will evolve from this re-established connection, and it really doesn’t matter. The gift has been received and my heart has expanded further with bountiful love as a result from someone old and dear showing up and touching my heart in such an authentic way, even if it’s just to remind me that it’s not that broken after all and the walls no longer hold strong.
The work has been done.
Thank you dear friend for being there, just when I needed you to be.